The Boys are Never Going to Preschool

Juliana started preschool a month before she turned 3 – she was fully potty trained, she was bored in the toddler room and she was very ready for the preschool environment. When Ruslan and Wyatt turned 3 in the spring, I was happy that their birthday was early in the year. In my opinion, they weren’t ready for preschool yet and they weren’t close to being potty trained.

For a while it seemed like neither of them would ever be potty trained and then Ruslan finally started to figure it out. At the beginning of July he started to wear big boy underwear during the day and after a few early accidents he has done a great job making it to the bathroom to pee, holding it when we are in the car, asking to go in public, etc. But he will not poop in the potty…at all. Every day he tells me that this is the day he will, but it never is. He comes and tells me right away when he does go, but never before. Marshmallows were the reward that worked for the first part of training, but nothing seems to motivate him for this step.

Wyatt on the other hand seems like he wants to use the potty but he just doesn’t get it. He will sit for a few minutes, he asks to go (mostly at bedtime as a stalling technique), but he never pees. On the occasions where we have been home on the weekend and I put them both in underwear and kept the potty seats nearby (which is how it clicked with Ruslan), Wyatt will pee in his underwear and ignore it or get very upset. And when I have him sit on the potty and he does go, he has no idea that he did.

I had plans to spend lots of time focused on Wyatt and potty training over the long Labor Day weekend, but both boys had croup and were miserable so it didn’t work out. I honestly think that Wyatt will potty train within a few days once he figures it out.

At the beginning of August I received a letter from the childcare director letting me know that she was reserving spots in the older toddler room for both boys in case they were not completely potty trained and ready to start preschool at the end of the month. At that point I though Ruslan was so close to being done (still is) and what would I do if he was ready and Wyatt wasn’t – should I move one to preschool and leave the other in the toddler room?

Preschool started 2 weeks ago and dropping them off in the toddler room was harder for me than I expecting. The babies had moved up to the younger toddler room and the younger toddlers were now in their room and most of their friends…moved up to preschool. I felt awful.

However, the boys don’t care. They love their teachers in the older toddler room and have no interest in preschool. I thought that their friends moving to preschool would provide some motivation to them, and I talk about all of the fun toys and new things in preschool and now they understand that they are not in preschool because they are not potty trained.

I ask them if they want to go to preschool and they tell me: “No,  we like Miss Kim and Miss Chi.” “I don’t want to go to preschool.” “I am not ever going to preschool.” etc. One day Ruslan spotted his “girlfriend” across the parking lot at pick-up and asked about her. I told him that she is in preschool now and he said I am not in preschool and happily got in the van.

I suspect that they will be in preschool in the coming months, but if you ask them, they are never going to preschool.



4 comments to The Boys are Never Going to Preschool

  • Tricia Menges

    I totally remember the pain of Potty Training! You think it will never happen. Then, one day, it’s a done deal. Be encouraged, they will both get it eventually and most likely they’ll end up loving pre school at some point to. Heck, we seem to rush our kids anyway, so if they want another year of their favorite teachers for now, why not.

  • Sarah Zipse

    That is so funny and so typical. I think I would have been heartbroken if Ruslan would have gone to preschool and left Wyatt behind. Clearly there is a method to their madness, you just don’t know it, Mom :)

  • Kim Howie

    Miss Qi and I discuss preschool with Ruslan and Wyatt everyday. When Ruslan had the opportunity to visit preschool the other day and experience the “BIG” playground, my thoughts were he’s going to poop on that potty now but Ruslan’s outlook on the experience was ” it’s a nice place to visit but I don’t want to live there”. When I ask the boys if they want to go to preschool and they decline in order to stay with me and Qi, I selfishly have to admit that it warms my heart❤that they want to stay with us and then Ruslan will admit that he doesn’t believe I’m ready for him to go and Wyatt happily agrees. Ruslan tells me I will be very sad and Wyatt tells me he will break my heart

    • Jennifer

      They are like the kids who take 6 years to get a undergrad degree in college, because they don’t want to leave.

      I thought playing on the big playground would help convince him as well – he was having so much fun!